New Year & Resolutions … Goal setting in perspective and made with love.

Jan 10, 2017

The New Year is upon us and many, many resolutions will be made, and I’m certain many, many people will be knee deep in diets and new healthy eating plans … work outs and new gym memberships. Appointments that will be booked and limitations for work and extra curricular set or new challenges and budgets set and scheduled.

It’s THE TIME that we set new goals, aim to be better, do better, eat better, be fitter, sleep more, sleep less, spend less, see more friends, make more time for ourselves, read more, spend less time on social media etc etc etc. The list goes on.  We hinge so much on this quarter of the year.

I get it, setting goals IS good.  Working on ourselves IS good.  Making the time to sit and think about what really matters to us and what we most want from life IS good.  The problem is that we put so much pressure on ourselves to set these goals, these resolutions at the beginning of the year. And it’s not that it is a bad time to do it, it’s just that it shouldn’t be THE time we do it.  New intentions, self care, self love, whatever your goal, it should be something you’re striving for ALL YEAR LONG, with ease and contentment, with each breath you take and with every new day that offers you a new beginning.  A fresh chance to Just. Be. You. And to love yourself for all that you ALREADY ARE instead of setting a new goal every year, to change.

Goal setting in itself isn’t a bad thing at all.  Goals are great!  Big, fat, juicy, ‘I’m gonna take the world by storm’ goals are beautiful things!  But they need to be SMART goals: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time-Bound.  And we never really sit down and think these things out.  And then what happens?  We make these big, fat, juicy goals and then we fail. How can we possibly achieve huge, life changing goals without a plan? Without breaking them down into little bite-sized pieces by which we can mark our ongoing success and achievement and FEEL GOOD about making changes or aiming big and trying something huge and scary and new?

Let’s try something different. Instead of rushing in with your list of goals and must-do’s, let’s set an intention.  An intention to simply be more present.  Be absolutely present and incredibly positive that this year is simply going to be great because you’ve decided it will be so.  Do this, and you’ll do everything you’re supposed to do however it’s meant to be done, whenever it’s meant to be done, because your perspective will begin to shift to one of self love and acceptance.  The “I must” pressure can cease. Without the pressure, you can remain open to the possibility of your potential, you’ll be receptive to change and you’ll be able to show yourself compassion for your shortcomings.  In this state of “being” you’ll see achievements you never planned for, but which will unfold anyway.  There’s no point in setting the same resolutions/goals every year, only to feel disappointed and down on yourself.

Insanity is “doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results” –  Albert Einstein.

Let’s stop the cycle of feeling like we fail at achieving our goals, it’s certainly not conducive to self care, self love, self worth. Let’s look at what it is YOU really want out of life.  What is your heart yearning for?  Perhaps your resolutions and goals have been based on others expectations of you, or perhaps you’re driven by some false need to conform to society’s “norms”? This year, make a real change.  Stop doing what others expect of you, or what you think might make you seem more successful or appealing and just be YOU.

It might be the biggest, toughest, most bad ass resolution of them all.  Stop putting pressure on yourself to undertake goals that you aren’t committed to or really even want and just breathe.  A New Year should bring with it a rebirth of sorts, a feeling of newness, a feeling of release from the past and a freedom.  Be present in the here and now and start to create a purer awareness of self.  Don’t stop improvement and positive, personal goal-setting, but do stop forcing yourself to make empty promises to a stranger, living through the expectations of others and instead make friends with yourself.  Lose your baggage.  Feed your soul. Let go. Smile.  You will inevitably attract an abundance of positive opportunities into your life. And that is an awesome goal to set for yourself.

Happy New Year,